Some times ....

I've just got to say I miss the ability to work for money,

so many new feelings. I'm curious why so many people think love is a self decided event.

Love is to me, and many other logical, and reason oriented persons. Starts at a whim, and could spawn after a large struggle. My love isn't something that can be bought. I've long known this, and endeavored to make relationships, and not worry about love. It's cat like nature can be distracting, and so can it's demonic side that makes you lie to yourself to make a pseudo love that only You feel.

As many gay, straight, and neutral people I know get trapped by a facet of this provocation.

Love isn't ment to be caught. It's ment to land on you like an Invisable bird.

Todays Failures

I'm no Mentor

Those words came streaming to me when I realized all those people I thought I'd changed their lives, and some think the same thing. I'm nothing if not honest. When I find out things about myself they get chiseled out into my skull, and it's like tattoos. Like words on my skin. like deformations in my physical form. I know I've not changed any

thing in those lives. I've done nothing. All I can say I've done is inspire to create. It's a dirty word these days. Creating!

Creating a spill that's horrible,

Creating life which will suffer for your inadequacies,

Creating new space for prisoners,

Creating new jobs,

Creating a party of people whom just want to make people suffer.

I've thought about being the less creative mind in my age, and sporting the shot that'll ring red into the face of haters, and all I can say is. I don't want to.

Haters never learn, and cheaters prosper for a while at least.

I'm certainly been cursed with the inability plague. I have more but this isn't the time for self loathing.. just some reflections on who I am.

I'm an Inspiration

Todays Failures

Movement.

Today is going to be a Movement. I doubt anyone follows me on that thought, but If I were you I'd just sit back, and say "Bring me more of what she's having." I've been feeling infused with some intelectual thought, and it's going to be put to work today with finding a place to move out to. Not that I'll succeed, but I like the thought of having a studio for my nw VLOGS, and the newer photos I'm planning..

Well all for now. Will Update Post Day..

Movement.

updating the world of smarts.

With the BP spill, Terrorism, and life as we know it facing crisis ever day. I go back to the old unheard statement I was taught by who knows whom. Take it easy, and focus on the things you can do to see to your survival.

This year I've really struggled

with that thought, and come through the bad weather, and emotional hardships with 3 tomato plants, and some carrots. Hopefully Halloween will be a happy time for the world around, and perhaps I'll be able to sell some pumpkins. I know this all seems like I've become some sorted bag of nuts, but I must say. The world is equally as fruity. I need something to do, and because all those jobs

I've applied for have seen fit to lawfully discriminate or just basically run outta jobs to fill, and forgetting to tell me I'm not one of the lucky ones. I'm doing this.

Himegi castle, Japan

My vlogs will be coming back up soon, and hopefully so will my optimism. As many people whom know about me hear. I've got some heart, and a lotta brains, and yet can't seem to put the both together long enough to come out ahead. I've got alot of people whom when they say something for me to do. They say somethings like these ; "why don't you move out?", "why don't you come live here?", "go get a job, and you'll be able to move out.", "can't you just file for unemployment?", find a Sugar Daddy/Mommy!", "go get some 420.", "you need to be on meds.". All that aside I've no job to claim unemployment from, and there's no gas station with in 8 miles let alone anything resembling work that's not taken by those people called "FARMERS". I know if I moved out I'd have to pay for a place or maybe even live on the streets at least a few weeks. maybe a month+, Or that Infamous one. If I wanted to I couldn't even do that. I know it's easy to freebase, and It's really easy to hang over people's houses, but when you don't know anyone around the area, and if I should ever get one to come out here that'd probley never happen. dealers aren't pizza delivery out in the Boonies. Get some sense can call me in the morning..

I hope to be posting on youtube soon.

updating the world of smarts.

NOT Pinkisl33t

The thought just rang through my head.

Did I just post a big infoburst saying Pinkisl33t, and the View from Inside Wonderland is closing?

I'm not shutting down Pinkisl33t, and Not the Blog. So.. no need to fear.

NOT Pinkisl33t

Wonderland Has Closed

I for years have run my transition VLOG. It's been less, and less posted on. I even had my brother in law call me a freak on it last year. Despite how I should be posting to throw it back in his face. I really have nothing to post. My transition has stalled, and I doubt my transition will be further than It has gone. I'm very put down by the government being as much of failures as I myself. I feel they should be in their Parents' home thinking about how they could have stopped this from happening like myself over the past 2 years.

I doubt my life is going to guide me back to a life Vlog, and as such I decided to shut it down.

I've had a few comments in private about how I should possibly make a comment VLOG or something of critic videos of places, and people. I think If I were to do that I'd want to do it while doing things in my life. I have thought many times over the years about leaving and just winging it, and when all falls apart just hitching my way back to this little room in the middle of the dead ocean, and stew about the failure I am all Over again.

I think I'll goto Florida.

I would go west, but I'm not Horatio Alger. I also am nothing like Allen Ginsburg though I've admired his workings as such. I know that there's music, and culture in the sun, and Perhaps Some beach will be waiting there to Knock some sense into me. I think It should be one with Black hair from a Far west state, and tell me I'm a Dumb-ass for writing such a Ridiculous Blog.

So if you wish please watch my Last YouTube VLOG

Thanks for all the Good times, and your Support in the Bad times.

Please feel free to tell me any of the ideas you have for any new Channel. I'm not afraid to be on cam, and Speak. I could even read something For you.

Sydney

Wonderland Has Closed

How Long..

I'm curious how long it'll be till someone notices my social sites have been reduced or removed.. I just got my videos removed from public view, and Facebook is soo Missing.. LOL.. 500+ppl haven't noticed I'm gone.

We'll see.

Plans-

Getting Jessica Goetke's Samples done

Getting the basiscs of my book outlined.

going on a small trip, and then planning another soon-there-after

How Long..

set A pic 6

set A pic 6
Originally uploaded by volkemon

This is Sooo Pritty,,

set A pic 6

Wellington Under the hammer

I've long since lived near this city called Wellington, Kansas. Often it's dwarfed by Wellington, New Zealand, But I'm often draw back by it's old downtown, and it's eerie stead-fastness. I know it sounds like a cheap line to try reselling a town's history to the new people walking the local roads. I don't think so. I see regrowth.

I see a Small downtown with life a-bloom. What is there you say? My brief talks with a building owner gave me the feeling that the

downtown's going to be a Beautiful people's place. I believe more than 25% of downtown Wellington is up for lease, and or Rent, and just needs that bunch of hard working, and Imaginative businesses that this country is known for.

I've spent many a day zooming up, and down the main street without so much as a cricket to walk across my scooter's path. Wellington has so much to offer. To it's town, and it's people.

The newest rebuilds are above, and to the left. I have on good authority that the one above has a Nice loft in it, and the Store front was recently used to test the market. Sadly I missed out on that. I hope the owner gives it another chance in the spring. the Markets really show more hope during the spring, and summer seasons. People of Wellington walk down the main street, and look through the more than often empty windows thinking what they'd love to have as a business to spend a pence at. I know I'm guilty of such aspirations

myself.

All we need is those farmers to give that "Nod", and put out the word that work is needed, and a town can once again spring to life. Too long has it been since farmers thought of more than McDonald's, and the gas stations as the only java in town. I think that's the reason why the bakery left, and the lawyers, and oil peoples set up shop in downtown. Why is the only college outlet in the highschool? isn't there enough room, and business to be had in downtown. I look forward to this Spring. You should take a look. It's Beautiful

Wellington Under the hammer

News

I have been cleaning house. Well internet house.

The comics are loading, and the videos being sorted down.

PaperSydney@Youtube.com

New comics, and small strips will be coming as they're developed, and I have to say I may toss my writings at some of the artists on DA. I figure it might help me show some of the beautiful stories I have in my brain.

News

Pinkisl33t Comics.

I was planning on getting DA to host my comics. I guess it's just too much for me to handle at the moment. So I decided to post it here. The Whatever Gender comic will however be on DA.

Pinkisl33t Comics.

Comics - Pinkisl33t 7-10

Comics - Pinkisl33t 7-10

Comics - Pinkisl33t 4-6

Comics - Pinkisl33t 4-6

Comics - Pinkisl33t 1-3

Comics - Pinkisl33t 1-3

Secondlife Dying..

Logged in last 60 days: 1,392,922
Residents inworld: 59,442

Today was a day like any other. I've come to the conclusion I won't be able to meet many people in the SL Verse. The reason is because there's more people on Yahoo chat at the moment than in SL at the moment. I think there's more than 59k people in Wichita, KS.

Is there any reason why SL is becoming so small? I don't know..

Perhaps I'll find out if the subscription base is lower than last year..

Secondlife Dying..

Winter

(this is a msg sent to someone on a personals site.)

I'd say something interesting is happening, but unless it's sleeding behind a 4x4 I doubt it'll be happening anytime soon. I'm not in great shape, and I have pains, but love getting out, and busy. walking hiking. blah blah I also don't believe in myself. though I know i can do alot. I've been safe with my body, but not my travels. if i'm interesting please feel free .. talk sometime.

this has been a curious moment,

Sydney

Winter

Tiresome miles

I'm soon to be in school. learning soo much about networking at the moment, but that's not what the school will be for. I can't jinx it so for the mean time I'll just say it'll be a stable income, and the world won't effect me if it fills me as much as I it. I've started a Project that'll be lasting for a long time to come. Like my websites. this project is one that'll expand or flop. It's always been my plans to expand my knowledge of things around me. So, As i watch "Tower of Druaga" , and think about my options especially the transition ones. I have my eye on those friends around me, and try hard to keep them standing strong. I do believe those who will be effected by my friendship will stay around, and show interest. some will not, and some may be just in waiting. As some know I was very social out in New England, and those friends that practice life by social standards wish as I do to see my happy smile return to the fold. I may be in kansas, but many have said I'm not gone nor forgotten. As i might think this is a delusion sometimes. It isn't . I know whom is, and whom isn't in my grasp of friendship on that level. I also know the deeper, and more realistic friends know I'm very shallow when it comes to idle chatter. I don't spout for spoutings' sake. I do wish it'd come sooner rather than later, but nothing can be done for that. The old strong ways are all I can sue to forward my stable life.

Just to recount. I'm setting up for a stable job, and plan to work hard on my life, and the certainties of it.

Sydney+

p.s. I'm tired..of "T"

Tiresome miles

Fighting, Tired and Sick

The world surrounding us is one of great detail, and minuscule relational care. While I feel there's always a reason to ignore the issues surrounding the people you don't care for, but I'm certain that Ignorance of feelings for those you do care for or even aspire to be related with can only mean contempt. I know that this sounds like a fantasy or some soap opera, but the world is as logical as it is illogical.

My mind can only come back to the grand delusion which is Wonderland. This of coarse being the reason for naming both my BLOG, and VLOG after such. I think if it was anything but an affirmation it was a blessing in the least, and a curse at most. My mind is not always happy about being trapped in a place that it can't and sometimes can try hard to fight to find the simplicity that is a certainty of life's values, and gains.

My trip to NY is looming around the corner, and Stephanie is still waiting for me to come visit her in OK. I'm trying to balance the whole of life, and keep my keel down. and masts up.

I'll have to say more later when I can get a better angle on things.

Perhaps I'll run into the Cheshire cat.

Fighting, Tired and Sick

Heart on my shoulder

Seems everytime I make a comptemplative effort to add Joy to the lives of wichitans' I find something as DUMB as I don't want to be part of the Solution.

This is why Downtown is a Mass of Uninhabited buildings. Wichita is a Wasteland of junk, and Anything anyone does to try to bring some civic enjoyment back to it beside worry about dead people or crime rates going up. It all gets Ignored. No wonder When people leave town they never come back.

Dead-ita.

A place where greed, and self sufficiency haven't heard of one another.This is why when I give a hoot for DO-DA I try as hard as I can, But Wichita Depresses me, and 75% of it's population. The other percentage is mixed in with crime greed, and the children who should get used to it or get out as soon as they can.

And I won't be referencing Supposed Civil outlets again. They would rather be a reporting agency rather than the Friend we all knew and Loved since their conception.

Thanks you Wichita. For the Headaches the Depression, and the heartaches of un-civil promise. You will never be dear to me. only your GHOST will be around to comfort the weary.

Dead as the Indians, and Wonderland's Roller coaster (soon to be Joyland)

Heart on my shoulder

Failings, and Aspirations

I wanted to share my failings, and Aspirations with you.

Started the day with the Expressed, and Planned importance of being at the Houston Holocaust Memorial for the T.D.O.R. event. I've found it's very important to respect your dead. Even though in my family it's always been a Shame to see something as sad as this event take place. Every time I've went to my Grandpa's grave I always asked Why? Why don't you have answers for me, and why is Gma such a JERK. I've since stopped going when my Gma passed. I've had very strong feminine characters in my life. I grew up asking why couldn't I know more about Amelia Erhart, and Others Like Rosie the Riviter? All for nothing. There's nothing to know beyond they had the gumption to force their ways into the mans world, and all I can come up with is Failure.

This Last bit aside. My failure to come up with a force to keep me going to the T.D.O.R. event. Brings me to utter frustration. The fact is I also turned down the chance to be comfortable, and with kinder people for thanksgiving. I know it's stupid but I have many reasons, and Sometimes These reasons are worth it. My sister is the reason I'm in Houston. The second reason is to be here for my nefew. Whom has not had nearly enough clarity about his mom, and dad. I think it's just my way to express the failures, and Misgivings of a parent long before thinking they're not foul-able. My parents kept theirs from us till after my older sister, and I had left. I think it's a Failure that could have prevented so-many hardships.

I have been interested in Aly for some time now, and I don't mean to throw her for such loops, but I think she's werth letting know that it's not easy to be me. I'm not simple, and She's gotta know that from prior issues, and history I've told her. I think for someone whom doesn't have a extra Pole and hook in the water she's pretty stable, and Very kind for a NewYorker. I have met a few in my time, and it's typically just barely standable. (i speak of in person) I've met quite a few people online that are that nice aswell.

I've been wanting to live in the Gulf coast since the beginning of this year, and i don't know if i'd mind changing it to NY, but I think it's just a Matter of convinence. I'm sure with the economy, and the lack of jobs the future is something to be met with Stern Seriousness. I want to transittion sometime before I'm some Dumb Gatekeepin' B.s.-ER.

As for thanksgiving the only thing i'm looking forward to without fear is my sister's New recipe for Stuffing. I'm deathly afraid of bad stuffing. I usually spit it out, and Hope to be Plesantly suprised. I am going to not be girly despite the fact this wil be the second year I've been seen as a MAN to people in my family. I'm feeling down about it. I choose this though. Because of my family. Hear that? yeah I mean you.. (the family readin this thing.)

I'm going to keep on being me, and try not to let my voice work back out to it's clearly feminine tone. It's been happening all this week.

I believe I'm going t start working of stories of trans people in basic situations. not just me and my family though you will be seeing some from thanksgiving.. I don't think I could Live through this T-day without my Drawing pad.

Plz Reply

Failings, and Aspirations

A Day of Rememberence

Like many other days the transgender day of rememberence is one that is only dwarfed by my own personal feelings. I've always Considered it quite different than others have. My view on death is good-riddense for those I don't like, and Congratulations and celebrations.

I'm just happy that those in such pain and anguish have escaped it.

I wish it wasn't so easy to discriminate, but it is. All we can do is remember to fight till we're on that list, or until we're equal.

http://www.hmh.org/EventDescription.aspx?ID=397

A Day of Rememberence

Personal Problems

So.., Many things cause issues in my life, and one of the worst is Love. A constant wish, and disgust of the feeling, and sometimes just the word triggering it. I wish it were simpler. I want to be loved, and for that person to be that solve I need, but It'd be dumb of me to consider that with all that people know and love that such a person existing one this planet is a far off cry to finding out what'll really be certain. I'm afraid. all the feelings. Love is only 2nd to Friendship. I believe in it. I have very few ideals of what really certifies it, and most of the time those signs can seem like Love is the reason they are there. Love in friendship, or love in lust, and I get confused in that as much as I get confused in noticing people flirting. Unless it's so Blatant. I can't seem to tell when it's happening. I wish I was Shoveling Snow. I wish My body could just Lye in the snow, and relax. If only I had the gusto to pursue the actions to get me there.

Personal Problems

Re-Open Our Dreams, Joyland

Many Many Years have gone by and a Season has turned into a decade. Joyland our pride, and Joy. Our stern commitment to ourselves stands as resolute as Century II downtown. It's owners the Nelsons have tried hard to keep it land, and icons of our past standing, and in hallowed hopes that someday the means will come to revive our sleeping friend. Screams, and Cheers rattling through the neighborhoods that house the people whom just hold on. The productive means still aimed at the most Un-imaginative schemes and Build things that tighten the hopes around our dreams.

Nobody can tell us what we need, But I know that there are ways to keep people from spending 4hrs going to KC or OKC in search of amusements. Re-Open Joyland!

It's not just upto the Nelsons. It's upto the Hearts and Minds of Wichita Kansas.

I'd beg. Wouldn't you. Chime in, Logon, and just call those whom really have the Voice. Call city hall. Call Kake, Ksn, and Kwch! Tell them what you want to do next Spring. Say it with me.

"I Want To Goto Joyland."

I'll post the Feeds, and Numbers Below. all you have to do it pickup the phone, Click the Link or just speak to everyone you get the chance to. Say I miss Joyland, and We should Do something about it. Re-Open for The Service Men, and Women! So they Know what they've been fighting for.

Re-Open Our Dreams, Joyland

Pinkisl33t #2

I'd Love to be Uploading my Comic to the site right now, but there's something HUGE in my way. called archieve Instability. I can't find the Originals. I can't believe My family's filled an ENTIRE 500GIG drive. It amazes me. I can't understand unless there's TONS of Large Duplicates...

(SISTERS)

I guess it's unheard of from people whom think that they can Print them out and delete the rest. MY GAWDS! I caught my sister deleting her entire MyPictures folder before any of the pictures could be seen by the family. I went back in and restored them.. *I wiped my forehead on that-one*

I can't believe the Imaculate stupidity my family alows to happen in this family.

the Long-range ones are even worse. Instead of letting us know when she needs something to send us the copies of something she just leaves the pictures on her camera for 2 years while I'm out in NH... Yeah Way to go! I ended up getting thier PAWN-SPECIAL from mom having went down there and saw it lying around or what-not. There's soo much disfuction I am starting to realize what stupidity this world is all about.

Anyways, back to the comic. I've been thinking what the best way to host them is. There is none. I'm just going to post them here and Hope things don't get messy. I wanted you all to know I'm not just "SAYING" that there's comics and show you some sketches.. I have 3 comics. Adura, Pinkisl33t, and a guest comic called. "The Eight" it's a Comic written, and penciled by Steve Requin. He was So nice to chit-chat with on his forum.

There were issues with The Inker. I can't remember her name at the moment. She got really popular, and she couldn't work on it anymore. I'll probley revise this post when I get more definate Info, but I've gotta link his forums, and stuff sometime.

anyways.. Soon to be Posted.. Comics..

Steve's Blog - http://encycloplagiat.blogspot.com/ -(french/canadian)

Pinkisl33t #2

Spooky Bloom

The Alice shoot was taken in 2005. during a really dry year.

My commentary about WSU, and Kansas support for Trans People.

Set can be found at www.flickr.com

Spooky Bloom

wavey depressive gravy

Today I did alot.

ALOT

Believe me. I don't know how it all fit in one day.

I played Cafe world, Secondlife, house, emo gurl, photographer, Music blast, and or coarse I did research.

the research of the day was about transition regret. I heard back-way-when that there was trans people who'd found out or were so confused in their G.I.D. that they pursued going back to their born gender after transition. It's like they say "It's not the Goal. It's the Journey? " I'd have to say It is the Journey, but they don't know that. They're just confused. And G.I.D. isn't always something to solve with a wave of a magic Scalpel. Yes I'm saying For some of us Trans People there's NO GOAL AT ALL. just the journey. it's the road with no end. The long,and lonely road ahead. I myself find that the Goal may be the mirage. I'm humbled by the majority of people who think they can be so sure when they're looking upto Gate-Keepers, and aiming the beliefs at uncertain life decisions. We're not crazy for wanting out ends. We're just the Un-mapped masses. We're just getting a handle on the Gays, and Lesbians. You think you know these things Nemo, but you Don't! Lines from my Mother that speak in a playful sense of reality lerking up on you, and .. .. .. You don't see it coming. Perhaps tomorrow I'll get mine. Perhaps I'll be attacked in a Walmart.. (Yay the first trans gurl to be beated clueless at a Walmart.) Any-how. You all love it when I say nothing at all, and It seems to be the Cost of writing this. Your suffering of the extended time I'm awake.

Well With that I'll leave the Pictures for tomorrow.. Yes I have More Pics. In SL, and of myself..

wavey depressive gravy

Sooo Much to say About SL

Well as anyone who has me on a msgr Knows I'm a SL player. I like it cause it makes it seem like i'm going out. But sometimes reality bites back hard, and I don't get back-on for a while.

Yesterday was a great night/morning, and met a bunch of great people. I've got some Pics of the Pritties, and the Handsomes'.

Above is Rode. She's a Great gal. Very outgoing, and I think she could do with some company or the casual goto the mall kind. The group is certainly filled with what nobody would say simple people. I'd have to say I'm one of them kinds.

I have some sad news though. Poor Faith has been thrown to the trash pile again. This time by her Bias Uncle. Seems he didn't give her any warning,

and invited her to a group which then he

promptly ejected her, and Paper from. It's kina hard to keep friends through relationships that attack people like her now Ex-Uncle. Funny that he wouldn't have just said it., But then again Thus is the Secondlife Motto. "Be You, be Screwed, be Nice or the Lindens will ban you."

The one gal I think i'd love to know more about is Rena. She's Very simple, and Defnately a Ying to my yang. I like meeting nice people. Give me a feeling like i don't belong like Faith.. On my back in the trash.

Well that last statement sent me for a down turn. I'll have to watch out for those implied emotional bursts. In any account. He's Rena in all her Beautiful skin colorfulness.

Isn't she Beautiful in her scarlet gown, and gold chains? I think if i'd ever had to be stuck on any alien planet I'd not mind hers.

In personal news I found some old cards from my ex, and in them she says how she loves me, and then i read the top of one, and it says. Bre. Bre is her Exx, and I've spoken with him. He's certainly not trans. he's more of a Con dresser. He knows he looks cute at con's so he doesn't dress except at cons. I'd have to

say it rushes back a Ton of unwanted thoughts. Thoughts like How precisely it is that the words were darn near the same ones she'd said to me when we broke up. Giving Props to my theory of scripted Fake life. Companions on demand, and a whole slew of drama's I won't get started.

So. Back to someone Who does love me. Despite being soo busy Rene =P.

She's always Been there for me. Emotionally, and the rare intimate. She's her own woman. I'm very happy with us.

That's it for this time. More SL to come, and More personal and professional for you..

Sydney~

Sooo Much to say About SL

Virgle - Sydney In Space.

Many reasons come to mind when I watched the video for Virgle. I've found myself Thinking about mars Alot at times. I'm not really making any forth-coming progress here on earth, and I feel if i wasn't part of the rat-race things wouldn't revolve around the looks, and feelings as much, and forgiveness is much easier to obtain when your busy working. Plan B as some would say it. Mars is the Exciting new possibility. Nothing like this has been done before, and it's about time someone put their life on the line. Not to get shot or aim to be killed or Kill, but to expand the true reign of humanity. Not as some Viral prolificication, but to see what there is to do. To explore. To move on past these typical mundane thoughts of life that loop back against themselves.

I hope there's some hope for my post-dated Entry.

Virgle - Sydney In Space.

Finding Some Experience

I'm always looking at other's works. Not because I want them or want to duplicate them, But because they've had experiences I've never had, and Never will have. Joel Meyerowitz Has been through alot of life, and seen so many things. He knows the fuctions and art that is Camera Work. Not something that is to be taken lighty. I am not an understudy. His work will never be my favorite. As much as i Admire what his work shows He's an Inspiration to me. Knowing that I've had My share of Inspiring people. Bob, One of my friends from New England. Showed me many things I couldn't have read in the books. He taught me that While Taking many shots with huge memory, it's not always the amount that guarantees the shot, but the skill, and the Variation between. I doubt if you asked him he'd say he taught me anything. I know it's a Hard struggle through life, and I may never make a friendship like that again. As for Joel Meyerowitz You can judge for yourself. www.joelmeyerowitz.com

Don't forget to Remember to share your Inspirations. They may inspire more people than you. Even if they're second hand.

Finding Some Experience

Comics #003

Something I drew with the Intent to frame it.

My drawing skills are very nice.

When I can get them to come out.

Comics #003

Comics #002

So this one's Brought to you by my sister. She's always telling me that something'll do something or if i'd just get off my butt, and do something, but when I do. There's always a NO answer. Especially when I talk to anyone ahead of time. It makes me feel really bad when I've gotten a No, and have to sit around watching the time I was supposed to be doing something fade into a blank day or hour. same goes with food. As pictured int he comic. I've heard my sister preach on her soap-box, and then get down, and buy the food she said was evil. Or that food that'd rott your face. Or as she puts it. "That stuff's Poison"

Comics #002

Comics

Here's something that was told to me. About myself.

I'm not naming names, but I also know I can't be sure of it's certainty.

Despite believing it.

Comics

Getting ALONG

Soo many people are fighting, and soo many people are in pain because nobody's listening. So many people have made it their lives to make others happy, and there's not accountability. The topic of today is Getting Along.

For years, and possibly Decades My life's been oriented around making others smile.

My life before my 20's were filled with making use of my good nature, and trying to get everyone in harmony. I think it's futile, and yet I'm made that way. I can't help my good nature. I think it'd take something like my Love killing my entire family in-front of me to change me.

I'm going to tell you what i used to do for fun.

I'd invite people from school to my house and buy soda, and sugar, and chipps, and always be happy to help everyone to a few movies and we'd jump on the trampoline, and swim in the pool, and we'd get along watching movies, working on a car, and trying to be the friends friends would want to have.

Somewhere in the middle it all was preverted

I think it's cause they never knew me at all.

on the other hand I could just be blind to it. Such is the case when being hit-on.

I've had people hate me after saying things that seemed like something basic, and years later now. I've found it could have been a Flirt or a pathetic one. I'm certainly conserned as to the fact I would have figured out I was Trans at somepoint. It's not a matter of if, but a matter of when.

I could have been happy with some people, but they were very confusing to me. I really sometimes think it's better to be alone than try to figure out the drama that is being saught.

And many a time I've gotten the offer to help mistaken with the offer to fornicate. I've never made an action in the fear of being burnt, but usually i'm turning down offers for fear they've got ulterior motives .You can think of it as fear of advancing, but It's kept me for the most part in agony, and physically safe from assault, and learning the greater lessons in life.

Next postings will be a few Comics.

Getting ALONG

Working on Farms

Yep. I've been workin till the cows come home and the chickens crow in the morning.. I'm not very happy about how things are right now., but know i've got to move my butt to change any of it. SO. look forward to speratic updates. as much as i Can. stories, and art alike.

Working on Farms

Blogger taking over Pinkisl33t.com

Blogger taking over Pinkisl33t.com