I've just got to say I miss the ability to work for money,
so many new feelings. I'm curious why so many people think love is a self decided event.
Love is to me, and many other logical, and reason oriented persons. Starts at a whim, and could spawn after a large struggle. My love isn't something that can be bought. I've long known this, and endeavored to make relationships, and not worry about love. It's cat like nature can be distracting, and so can it's demonic side that makes you lie to yourself to make a pseudo love that only You feel.
As many gay, straight, and neutral people I know get trapped by a facet of this provocation.
Love isn't ment to be caught. It's ment to land on you like an Invisable bird.
I for years have run my transition VLOG. It's been less, and less posted on. I even had my brother in law call me a freak on it last year. Despite how I should be posting to throw it back in his face. I really have nothing to post. My transition has stalled, and I doubt my transition will be further than It has gone. I'm very put down by the government being as much of failures as I myself. I feel they should be in their Parents' home thinking about how they could have stopped this from happening like myself over the past 2 years.
I doubt my life is going to guide me back to a life Vlog, and as such I decided to shut it down.
I've had a few comments in private about how I should possibly make a comment VLOG or something of critic videos of places, and people. I think If I were to do that I'd want to do it while doing things in my life. I have thought many times over the years about leaving and just winging it, and when all falls apart just hitching my way back to this little room in the middle of the dead ocean, and stew about the failure I am all Over again.
I think I'll goto Florida.
I would go west, but I'm not Horatio Alger. I also am nothing like Allen Ginsburg though I've admired his workings as such. I know that there's music, and culture in the sun, and Perhaps Some beach will be waiting there to Knock some sense into me. I think It should be one with Black hair from a Far west state, and tell me I'm a Dumb-ass for writing such a Ridiculous Blog.
So if you wish please watch my Last YouTube VLOG
Thanks for all the Good times, and your Support in the Bad times.
Please feel free to tell me any of the ideas you have for any new Channel. I'm not afraid to be on cam, and Speak. I could even read something For you.
