Dirty Life.

The thoughts had smashed through my mind many times.

To kill my most hateful disfiguring issue.

I've spent four years fighting to keep myself from jumping off a bridge or cutting my wrists, and or overdosing on medications. all of which shy of jumping off the bridge I've done.

Does it make a difference to the person who caused the trauma?
Does she tell the people that give her such power to be around, and publicly elevated. while her ex muse. The Star of her puppet show(http://www.chaotickiss.com/). Suffering in the trauma of being strangled at her hands, and made to suffer under indifference.

I still like so-many others wonder why this all happened.

I have a hard time getting past it all.

mean while back in New England.. She's told everyone I never existed, and she made the name up herself, and told me since I wasn't born Sydney Bloom she has all the rights to steal that bubbly happy spirit of mine, and make it love a idealized version of her Lesbian self. All while she's lying to transgender Ladies, and making a mockery of the enjoyment of her cooshie life at her mom's house. She'll never move past her free-ride to make an equitable life with her own rules, and responsibilities.

As for me. I'll keep trying to get my face out of the forgotten mud, and perhaps someday may even sue for my name to be off her mockery of a comic that without my likeness would fail.

LAWFULLY,
Sydney

p.s. all responses to my post by her will be made public.

Dirty Life.

Sydney's Fieldcall - 05 - Irene the Gay Opera

I missed calling some friends, and Hope they'll be okay. The Pastor guys all blame the Irene on gay's just like every icecream cone that falls on the ground at Disney. Also tried not to sound like I was advertizing for AngryBirds.. I think I'll install it on my GF's Laptop!

Sydney's Fieldcall - 05 - Irene the Gay Opera

Sydney's Fieldcall - 04 - Banana fone..

Spending way too many days being entertained by the net, and found myself under a no-more content umbrella... where's the next wave.. I need to catch it!

Sydney's Fieldcall - 04 - Banana fone..

Nothing can stop hate..

I've found hate in those who are hated.

Nothing can stop hate..

S2 : E4 Rocky Road Hrt

My Support is probley as good as it gets in Kansas. unless I lived near a Gender Center.. LOL I'm soo Far away from Laurence,KS. Support in Wichita has always been a JOKE. like the Joke that's ment to hurt. Feel it burn you mis-guided care despensories!!

I've also got two job interviews lines up. one for the morning and one the 23rd. I feel a better chance at these since I worked hard to make them notice me...

S2 : E4 Rocky Road Hrt

Getting out of the house (Fireworks!)

I've been quite a shut-in since getting back from Washington. Things haven't been the best, and fearing the worst has brought my depression back.

Despite this. I've been trying to pursue a Tiny home Project, and also get the will together to start painting again. Painting has always allowed the long term feelings to merge with what i don't often get deep enough to vent or even when I have a Breakdown. the world just seems so-messed-up. I'm also a Rational person, and see what really holds me back. Too-little jobs, and a Government that won't do the hard decisive choice, and shut down global economics. Exports are lover than Imports, and there's no way to snap a bubble around the failure to understand that. The point is. I'm about as likely to find work as a Mexican at home depot as a Mexican these days.

I've not just given up either, but I also haven't put all my eggs in one basket. I'm seeing some options, and keeping them in mind as a walk forward day by day. one foot at a time.

The first time I've really been out since May is this 4th of July. I decided to goto my nieces' B-day party, and watch the town's fireworks afterward. the outcome was a nice time, and also captured some video on my cell-cam.
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Thanks for staying on my Following lists. I appreciate your Loyalty.

Getting out of the house (Fireworks!)

Back from The Oregon Trail

The Trip started in southern Kansas and made it's way to Salina where alot of settlers transversed through the Oregon Trail. We zigged, and Zagged. the mountains the landscape. Through Colorado, Wyoming, Utah, Idaho, Oregon, and Washington States. The Scenery is second to none I've seen in my 30yrs. I've seem Indians, and Mountains Trains, Planes, and Automobiles. The Trip never seemed to stop.

I would Recommend taking the trip yourself. Do remember that part of the fun is sleeping in your vehicle. Oregon will make you love the world, and Utah will make you wonder if you can get anything from a convieniece store. Wyoming like Kansas is few, and far between while Washington state will just be around the bend.

Back from The Oregon Trail

The Organic Sister

TheOrganicSister is a site developed by Tara Wagner, and Her Focus is on anything helpful to nature, and Practical living.

I've been doing a Whole "Tiny home" search, and aligned with Tiny House Living or was it Tiny House Design. I've found some of her words Happily helpful, and The Spirit is something I see myself having while Pursuing my next projects.

The Organic Sister

Some Artshow - Winfield's Art in the park (Island Park)

So many times I’ve seen others Setup, and show their wares, and All I could do is admire them. In 2009 I decided to releave some anxiety, and show my own works to the world. It was very short, and I felt it wasn’t enough, but I can say It was very good to feel like Someone besides my family had seen something. I don’t know much of the people whom go to these art shows, and I wouldn’t want to see them work to their product. I would rather see what best could be, and Not worry about being di-ceated for the means of winning a prize.

I Decided to paint a little to avoid the odd questions, and anxiety surrounding me in this time, and was painting furiously.. I painted, and painted, and what happened next was I heard Breathing. A LOT of Breathing. Nobody was behind the crowd that’d gathered to immortalize it on film, but there they children, and young teens all staring on. They were staring, and when they noticed I had stopped Like chickens without the feed being thrown at them took a second gathered their thoughts and Scurried out..

I Decided to paint a little to avoid the odd questions, and anxiety surrounding me in this time, and was painting furiously.. I paintined, and painted, and what happened next was I heard Breathing. A LOT of Breathing. Nobody was behind the crowd that’d gathered to immortalize it on film, but there they children, and young teens all staring on. They were staring, and when they noticed I had stopped Like chickens without the feed being thrown at them took a second gathered their thoughts and Scurried out..

I think If I do this again this year I’ll try to bring more than Photographs. Perhaps I’ll bring some motion Projects, and alot more things to hang what I make on hand (screen is not sturdy enough to hang paintings from.)

Sydney

Some Artshow - Winfield's Art in the park (Island Park)

Wellington Ks

As I'm sure everyone should have guessed by now I've got a town near me by the name of Wellington, and Of coarse there's a few places named the same, and it's not so-big, but It's not supposed to be.

Wellington was just passed over for a Casino. It'd have brought the commerce to a town rather than the county alone, and many have been behind, and angry at what they decided to do. They chose the far end of the county to setup the casino in, and it's probley going to fall through. No infrastucture, no power, and no work-force. So many stupid mistakes happen in kansas. I won't beguin with the thought to putting a sewage plant up on a hill, but I felt that needed to be said. Many people believe in this town, and I think it's got wonderful personality, and the buildings in downtown deserve to be seen as they are. the Commerce hub of the town. I've seen theathers close, and now reopen beautiful as new, and Buildings restored better than the 3yrs left in the weather. There's support, and they're suffering, and we all know there's some issues with a round-about coming up. But truely we all will find a beautiful way to keep Wellington a Wheat Mecha. where Trains Planes, Car's, and Trucks can live in harmony with the humans propelling them. The hard work of the few will always pay-off it's always going to be there in Wellington.

We'll see your joke, and laugh, and fire one back a time or two, but it will us whose laughing when you say Wellington is nothing. We'll see you expire or reword yourself in due time.

The Media for wellington isn't very good, but the grape vine fixes that, and makes it what it should be. a hopeful reminder that we've not seen the end, and never seen the middle. We'll fix our roads, and save our Memories as we can, and for reasons yet heard or seen.

Rural Kansas has what Urban Kansas will never remember. Mild Wild Pride.

Please Visit the new theater, and have a drink at Barefoot's. Braums is on the west side of the tracks, and A&W on the north side of 160 on 81Hwy. The community doesn't need a thank you as much as you need to see it. Art Festivals coming up soon, and Wheatfest in summer.

Wellington Ks

Waste, and Pain

The Most harmful things are all around us.

Our Neighbors !

So many people, and so little space. I do believe I can Look at the Rockefellers, and say I don't get why you can't be more inventive than Killing millions of people to stop the ravaged earth situation. Yes, We're doing so much less, and Yes we're half stupid while doing our daily non-productive stint, But what can anyone do when there's no chance to remove the footprints your 10X Great grand parents have done? Look at the oldest cities, and think. where is all their trash, and destructive footprints?

Nobody can be moved to do anything without some sort of win for them. something that makes materialism, and the basic needs happy, and socialization is a good percentage of the population's healthy needs. I, and I'm sure a few others have come to the mind set that there's not going to be anything for us if we don't look at the reality, and then look at the recyclism second.

Anything we can do to keep the process of life going, and that means keeping our Diverse culture alive as well.

Don't forget Recycling will one day be the Industrial trade of tomorrow.

Waste, and Pain

New Project, and Revisiting an Older one.

As I'm not to bore you with the Constant issues of a Cluster Gone Terribley wrong. I wanted to share with you Primarily my New Project which is Small shorts, and The first one is Based on the TG topics, and How the events play-out for one trans person after a night out.

I'll have stills up soon, but it's not the only thought in my head.

Another is based on how a midnight Vlogger finds the news isn't always what she's reporting.

I have been wokring on some Wind Related Projects aswell. Art has no bounds, and wind is one of those things that continues to power my love of music, and science.

New Project, and Revisiting an Older one.