For years, and possibly Decades My life's been oriented around making others smile.
My life before my 20's were filled with making use of my good nature, and trying to get everyone in harmony. I think it's futile, and yet I'm made that way. I can't help my good nature. I think it'd take something like my Love killing my entire family in-front of me to change me.
I'm going to tell you what i used to do for fun.
I'd invite people from school to my house and buy soda, and sugar, and chipps, and always be happy to help everyone to a few movies and we'd jump on the trampoline, and swim in the pool, and we'd get along watching movies, working on a car, and trying to be the friends friends would want to have.
Somewhere in the middle it all was preverted
I think it's cause they never knew me at all.
on the other hand I could just be blind to it. Such is the case when being hit-on.
I've had people hate me after saying things that seemed like something basic, and years later now. I've found it could have been a Flirt or a pathetic one. I'm certainly conserned as to the fact I would have figured out I was Trans at somepoint. It's not a matter of if, but a matter of when.
I could have been happy with some people, but they were very confusing to me. I really sometimes think it's better to be alone than try to figure out the drama that is being saught.
And many a time I've gotten the offer to help mistaken with the offer to fornicate. I've never made an action in the fear of being burnt, but usually i'm turning down offers for fear they've got ulterior motives .You can think of it as fear of advancing, but It's kept me for the most part in agony, and physically safe from assault, and learning the greater lessons in life.
Next postings will be a few Comics.
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