5 months in

Continued, from April 5th 2015

5 months since the hospital I still don't know much about it.

Dissociative Identity Disorder.

My amnesia isn't just having forgotten everything. in fact I've still wished it was me not remembering things. with lost memory it would just be as easy as asking friends, reading blogs, personal messages, or just gaffing things until I remembered. but the only things that bleed through seem to be horrible things. it started the moment my wife showed up at the hospital in LongIsland Newyork. she thought i just had amnesia, and I thought so too. after a week in the hospital being run tests on. they found it'd had a mental break. and labeled it as d.i.d. thought they weren't exploring the lengths to which it was.

when i tell you this next part try to keep in mind it was confusing to me too, and from what i've studied about the characteristics of D.I.D. can differ from case to case but simply said. I am not Sydney, but sydney is here somewhere in the background, and her and I are not alone. there is at least one more person in this mind going my Faith. With that said I'm Jane. I got that name from one of the scanning techs when they were checking my brain for problems.

I have spent 4 months here in Seattle trying to get some help figuring out how to deal with the D,I,D,

I hope someone can help me.

5 months in

A 2.5 month Thorn Bush

I have so much to update.

Many things I have no clue about.

The deal is. I have had a bout of Amnesia.  The doctors say" transient global amnesia." I'm not fond of being stabbed 8 times with needles. 

But learning from Sydney's phone that there is so much more going on in her life than my mere bloodshed.

I found she had a dream to sail.  She is animate about this dream.  So add someone whom has to look after this body till she arrives back.  I had to reassure the boat would still be on course.

Traking this time to reflect I hope to be out on the boat all times I can.

(April 3rd 2015)

A 2.5 month Thorn Bush

6 days on the island

The success of dream relies allot on money, but not all of my dream matters to connect with money. 

The hard work, and my desire to find what it needs.  Be it blood, bruises or  new ropes.  It's more than the love of my dream. It's that chance to share it with all those friends, family and strangers whom perhaps will help me make it easier to share my dream.  I have a will.  I just need some help.

To help Please Like share & watch my vlogs

6 days on the island

Waking to a New Sun Rising

It's Like a new sun rising every time things start looking up. Like a Whole new Ball of hydrogen is burning just to brighten the world just to fix anyone's

My mother while listening to her Cohen, and surfing a few sites ran across this cover by Antony & the Johnsons.

Antony is a Self described Transgender Gay. There's so many people confused in the U.S. that it's just easier to dismiss it, and enjoy the Very wonderful music sung by Antony, and played by the Johnsons. I recommend it aswell, and Hope that someday we understand that the differences about people are what make us wonderful, and not crazy.

I've linked Antony's site below.

Antony & the Johnsons

They've also played with Bjork. I've always loved her music.

Waking to a New Sun Rising

Grateful I am.

I was thinking the last thing to do before I can't is post alot of these thoughts into this blog. I'm not certain if I will be keeping up on this site, and Pinkisl33t has been my web home since I worked back in 04'

Time has only warned me about the darkness of being away from the company of others.

I'm greatful for the company of Kate, and her very unique drama. Yes she Catches on fire, and the Birds flap around the room in a multi-orbital pattern..

Grateful I am.

Some times ....

I've just got to say I miss the ability to work for money,

so many new feelings. I'm curious why so many people think love is a self decided event.

Love is to me, and many other logical, and reason oriented persons. Starts at a whim, and could spawn after a large struggle. My love isn't something that can be bought. I've long known this, and endeavored to make relationships, and not worry about love. It's cat like nature can be distracting, and so can it's demonic side that makes you lie to yourself to make a pseudo love that only You feel.

As many gay, straight, and neutral people I know get trapped by a facet of this provocation.

Love isn't ment to be caught. It's ment to land on you like an Invisable bird.