Failings, and Aspirations

I wanted to share my failings, and Aspirations with you.

Started the day with the Expressed, and Planned importance of being at the Houston Holocaust Memorial for the T.D.O.R. event. I've found it's very important to respect your dead. Even though in my family it's always been a Shame to see something as sad as this event take place. Every time I've went to my Grandpa's grave I always asked Why? Why don't you have answers for me, and why is Gma such a JERK. I've since stopped going when my Gma passed. I've had very strong feminine characters in my life. I grew up asking why couldn't I know more about Amelia Erhart, and Others Like Rosie the Riviter? All for nothing. There's nothing to know beyond they had the gumption to force their ways into the mans world, and all I can come up with is Failure.

This Last bit aside. My failure to come up with a force to keep me going to the T.D.O.R. event. Brings me to utter frustration. The fact is I also turned down the chance to be comfortable, and with kinder people for thanksgiving. I know it's stupid but I have many reasons, and Sometimes These reasons are worth it. My sister is the reason I'm in Houston. The second reason is to be here for my nefew. Whom has not had nearly enough clarity about his mom, and dad. I think it's just my way to express the failures, and Misgivings of a parent long before thinking they're not foul-able. My parents kept theirs from us till after my older sister, and I had left. I think it's a Failure that could have prevented so-many hardships.

I have been interested in Aly for some time now, and I don't mean to throw her for such loops, but I think she's werth letting know that it's not easy to be me. I'm not simple, and She's gotta know that from prior issues, and history I've told her. I think for someone whom doesn't have a extra Pole and hook in the water she's pretty stable, and Very kind for a NewYorker. I have met a few in my time, and it's typically just barely standable. (i speak of in person) I've met quite a few people online that are that nice aswell.

I've been wanting to live in the Gulf coast since the beginning of this year, and i don't know if i'd mind changing it to NY, but I think it's just a Matter of convinence. I'm sure with the economy, and the lack of jobs the future is something to be met with Stern Seriousness. I want to transittion sometime before I'm some Dumb Gatekeepin' B.s.-ER.

As for thanksgiving the only thing i'm looking forward to without fear is my sister's New recipe for Stuffing. I'm deathly afraid of bad stuffing. I usually spit it out, and Hope to be Plesantly suprised. I am going to not be girly despite the fact this wil be the second year I've been seen as a MAN to people in my family. I'm feeling down about it. I choose this though. Because of my family. Hear that? yeah I mean you.. (the family readin this thing.)

I'm going to keep on being me, and try not to let my voice work back out to it's clearly feminine tone. It's been happening all this week.

I believe I'm going t start working of stories of trans people in basic situations. not just me and my family though you will be seeing some from thanksgiving.. I don't think I could Live through this T-day without my Drawing pad.

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Failings, and Aspirations