Heart on my shoulder

Seems everytime I make a comptemplative effort to add Joy to the lives of wichitans' I find something as DUMB as I don't want to be part of the Solution.

This is why Downtown is a Mass of Uninhabited buildings. Wichita is a Wasteland of junk, and Anything anyone does to try to bring some civic enjoyment back to it beside worry about dead people or crime rates going up. It all gets Ignored. No wonder When people leave town they never come back.

Dead-ita.

A place where greed, and self sufficiency haven't heard of one another.This is why when I give a hoot for DO-DA I try as hard as I can, But Wichita Depresses me, and 75% of it's population. The other percentage is mixed in with crime greed, and the children who should get used to it or get out as soon as they can.

And I won't be referencing Supposed Civil outlets again. They would rather be a reporting agency rather than the Friend we all knew and Loved since their conception.

Thanks you Wichita. For the Headaches the Depression, and the heartaches of un-civil promise. You will never be dear to me. only your GHOST will be around to comfort the weary.

Dead as the Indians, and Wonderland's Roller coaster (soon to be Joyland)

Heart on my shoulder

Failings, and Aspirations

I wanted to share my failings, and Aspirations with you.

Started the day with the Expressed, and Planned importance of being at the Houston Holocaust Memorial for the T.D.O.R. event. I've found it's very important to respect your dead. Even though in my family it's always been a Shame to see something as sad as this event take place. Every time I've went to my Grandpa's grave I always asked Why? Why don't you have answers for me, and why is Gma such a JERK. I've since stopped going when my Gma passed. I've had very strong feminine characters in my life. I grew up asking why couldn't I know more about Amelia Erhart, and Others Like Rosie the Riviter? All for nothing. There's nothing to know beyond they had the gumption to force their ways into the mans world, and all I can come up with is Failure.

This Last bit aside. My failure to come up with a force to keep me going to the T.D.O.R. event. Brings me to utter frustration. The fact is I also turned down the chance to be comfortable, and with kinder people for thanksgiving. I know it's stupid but I have many reasons, and Sometimes These reasons are worth it. My sister is the reason I'm in Houston. The second reason is to be here for my nefew. Whom has not had nearly enough clarity about his mom, and dad. I think it's just my way to express the failures, and Misgivings of a parent long before thinking they're not foul-able. My parents kept theirs from us till after my older sister, and I had left. I think it's a Failure that could have prevented so-many hardships.

I have been interested in Aly for some time now, and I don't mean to throw her for such loops, but I think she's werth letting know that it's not easy to be me. I'm not simple, and She's gotta know that from prior issues, and history I've told her. I think for someone whom doesn't have a extra Pole and hook in the water she's pretty stable, and Very kind for a NewYorker. I have met a few in my time, and it's typically just barely standable. (i speak of in person) I've met quite a few people online that are that nice aswell.

I've been wanting to live in the Gulf coast since the beginning of this year, and i don't know if i'd mind changing it to NY, but I think it's just a Matter of convinence. I'm sure with the economy, and the lack of jobs the future is something to be met with Stern Seriousness. I want to transittion sometime before I'm some Dumb Gatekeepin' B.s.-ER.

As for thanksgiving the only thing i'm looking forward to without fear is my sister's New recipe for Stuffing. I'm deathly afraid of bad stuffing. I usually spit it out, and Hope to be Plesantly suprised. I am going to not be girly despite the fact this wil be the second year I've been seen as a MAN to people in my family. I'm feeling down about it. I choose this though. Because of my family. Hear that? yeah I mean you.. (the family readin this thing.)

I'm going to keep on being me, and try not to let my voice work back out to it's clearly feminine tone. It's been happening all this week.

I believe I'm going t start working of stories of trans people in basic situations. not just me and my family though you will be seeing some from thanksgiving.. I don't think I could Live through this T-day without my Drawing pad.

Plz Reply

Failings, and Aspirations

A Day of Rememberence

Like many other days the transgender day of rememberence is one that is only dwarfed by my own personal feelings. I've always Considered it quite different than others have. My view on death is good-riddense for those I don't like, and Congratulations and celebrations.

I'm just happy that those in such pain and anguish have escaped it.

I wish it wasn't so easy to discriminate, but it is. All we can do is remember to fight till we're on that list, or until we're equal.

http://www.hmh.org/EventDescription.aspx?ID=397

A Day of Rememberence

Personal Problems

So.., Many things cause issues in my life, and one of the worst is Love. A constant wish, and disgust of the feeling, and sometimes just the word triggering it. I wish it were simpler. I want to be loved, and for that person to be that solve I need, but It'd be dumb of me to consider that with all that people know and love that such a person existing one this planet is a far off cry to finding out what'll really be certain. I'm afraid. all the feelings. Love is only 2nd to Friendship. I believe in it. I have very few ideals of what really certifies it, and most of the time those signs can seem like Love is the reason they are there. Love in friendship, or love in lust, and I get confused in that as much as I get confused in noticing people flirting. Unless it's so Blatant. I can't seem to tell when it's happening. I wish I was Shoveling Snow. I wish My body could just Lye in the snow, and relax. If only I had the gusto to pursue the actions to get me there.

Personal Problems

Re-Open Our Dreams, Joyland

Many Many Years have gone by and a Season has turned into a decade. Joyland our pride, and Joy. Our stern commitment to ourselves stands as resolute as Century II downtown. It's owners the Nelsons have tried hard to keep it land, and icons of our past standing, and in hallowed hopes that someday the means will come to revive our sleeping friend. Screams, and Cheers rattling through the neighborhoods that house the people whom just hold on. The productive means still aimed at the most Un-imaginative schemes and Build things that tighten the hopes around our dreams.

Nobody can tell us what we need, But I know that there are ways to keep people from spending 4hrs going to KC or OKC in search of amusements. Re-Open Joyland!

It's not just upto the Nelsons. It's upto the Hearts and Minds of Wichita Kansas.

I'd beg. Wouldn't you. Chime in, Logon, and just call those whom really have the Voice. Call city hall. Call Kake, Ksn, and Kwch! Tell them what you want to do next Spring. Say it with me.

"I Want To Goto Joyland."

I'll post the Feeds, and Numbers Below. all you have to do it pickup the phone, Click the Link or just speak to everyone you get the chance to. Say I miss Joyland, and We should Do something about it. Re-Open for The Service Men, and Women! So they Know what they've been fighting for.

Re-Open Our Dreams, Joyland