pain, death, and humanity as a rock

You'd think dreaming about death would insight some goth phase or need for help i was intending to seek help but as in all things intent doesn't enact a task under-way many people don't get help. I one of them set alone in the wasteland of our world. humanity the equivalent to rocks dotting the landscape. I can see my fight is not one with the people but with myself to not become a rock or more insignificant a pebble We all have our inner battles it seems that the freedom of mind over task is dragging us away from success. we wont win with this as the rocks we are. art is alive and music primed but all of my dreams are filled with dying. from the fight to the night my dreams are all unhelpful and undeserving. my hopes a very light moss on the ground being trampled. i owe myself the end;

the end of this blog entry

P.s. i am continuing to seek help.

pain, death, and humanity as a rock

A Johnathan I'll never meet

I HAVE THIS FEAR THAT IF I MEET SOMEONE I LIKE FROM TV . THAT THEY WILL DIE OR BE UNPOPULAR. THINGS ARE UNFOUNDED DON'T RULE MY WORLD, BUT MY WORLD NEEDS A BIT MORE DIVERSITY. THE THING ABOUT ME MEETING ALLOT OF GOVERNMENT PEOPLE IS KINDA TRUE. THEY WILL NEVER KNOW WHOM I AM SINCE; AS ALICE SAID IN "THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS".

~WHOM I AM I CAN NOT SAY FER YOU SEE I'VE CHANGED SO-MANY TIMES SINCE THIS MORNING.~

I AM EVER CHANGING, AND AT THE SAME TIME I'VE NEVER STOPPED BEING ME. SENSITIVE, IDEALISTIC, HAPPY, SMILING, DESTRUCTIVE, FREE, TRAPPED, DEPRESSED, METAPHORICAL ME.

"THINGS WILL CHANGE BUT NEVER I SAID THE ROCK. "

ALAS THE ROCK WAS WRONG. WEATHERING AND SONICS MULTIPLE MILLIONS OF THINGS WE MAKE NOT SO IMPORTANT CHIP MR. ROCK INTO THE DUST HE WILL BECOME SOME DAY. MANY OF MY FRIENDS NEVER REALIZED WHILE THEY CHANGE THEMSELVES THEY'RE STILL GOING TO BE THEM. WHATEVER NAME THEY USE: WHATEVER ADDITUDE THEY PORTRAY OR COMPANY THEY KEEP.

A Johnathan I'll never meet

a start none the less

I know i've had blogs before and never showed much interest in showing anyone anything special in them. I never had anything to fill them with. well NOW I do.

a start none the less